Every family has one. He called Bitcoin a scam at $1, at $100, at $10,000, and he never bought. Every buy of $NOCOINER hurts him: a sticky note lands on his TV and his face goes through the stages. Every sell lets him say TOLD YOU.
Nobody has bought yet. He is enjoying this.
waiting for the first buyHe has coped 0 times. Still no.
BUY (HE WON'T)No prizes, no payouts, no rewards. The token's trades run his evening. The same tape is replayed for every visitor, so everyone sees the same sticky notes, the same pain level and the same rage quits.
His speech bubble cracks ("it's a bubble", "it's going to zero") and falls apart. A sticky note slaps onto his TV with your wallet and the size of your buy. The BTC chart on his TV ticks up. 0
A buy from $50 hits while he is drinking his coffee. Coffee everywhere. The note still lands. The pain jumps more than a small buy. 0
Arms up, the armchair goes over backwards, the remote goes through the TV, the whole room shakes. The RAGE QUIT stamp drops with your wallet. The TV gets a strip of tape. 0
He grins, points at the TV and says it: TOLD YOU. The chart dips a little and his pain level comes down a bit. He has waited since 2011 for this. 0
Pain level runs from 0 to 100. Every buy adds pain (a bigger buy hurts more, a rage quit hurts a lot), every sell takes a little off, and between trades he copes a bit. His face follows the level.
It hangs above his armchair. Every year he said no, crossed out in red. The right column is what $100 at that price would be worth today, from the live BTC price. Prices are rounded levels, for the joke, not for your taxes.
| year | BTC then | what he said | $100 then is now |
|---|
$100 at $1 in 2011 is 100 BTC. That number above moves with the live BTC price. His position is, and always has been, zero.
Forty things he says, all made up here: no real quotes, nobody real. Every buy makes him say one of them, picked by the transaction signature, so the same buy always gets the same cope. The count is how often each one cracked.
Every cope and every told-you, newest on top, stuck to the fridge. Next to it: the evening by hour, the biggest hits, the told-you club, his worst tormentors.
$NOCOINER trades against WBTC, Wrapped BTC (Portal) on Solana. The coin about the man who never bought bitcoin is paired with bitcoin. Whatever the buyer pays with, the page reads the pool and prices every trade in US dollars, so a rage quit is a rage quit in SOL or in sats.
A pixel living room with one grumpy uncle in his armchair, a TV showing the BTC chart and a calendar of every year he said no. Every buy of $NOCOINER hurts him: his cope bubble cracks, a sticky note with your wallet lands on his TV and his face goes through five pain stages. A buy from $250 is a RAGE QUIT. Every sell lets him say TOLD YOU. That's the whole coin.
Nobody real. He is an original character drawn in code: the uncle every family has, the one who explained at dinner in 2011 that a dollar for a computer coin was madness. Any likeness to your actual uncle is your family's business.
No. There is no prize, no pot, no airdrop and no holder reward. A buy gets you a sticky note on his TV with your wallet on it, a cracked cope and a row on the fridge. Buy $250 or more and the stamp says RAGE QUIT.
It runs from 0 to 100. Every buy adds pain (5 plus 11 times log10 of 1 plus the buy over $10, and a rage quit adds 18 more), every sell takes 6 plus 3 times log10 of 1 plus the sell over $10 off, and before each trade the level shrinks by 13 percent: he copes. It is rebuilt from the trade history, so every visitor sees the same face. It is pixels, not a price level.
He grins, points at the TV and says one of twelve lines (TOLD YOU, SEE? BUBBLE, CALLED IT...). The chart on his TV dips a little and his pain level comes down a bit. He lives for these.
The BTC price is real: it reads the live price of WBTC from Jupiter. The rest is plain maths on rounded historic levels: $100 at $1 is 100 BTC, times the live price. Display only, not a forecast and not advice.
Not yet. Until launch it runs a simulated evening, the same for every visitor, labelled preview. No wallet, sticky note or number in the room is a real trade until then. The BTC price is real.